Sometimes, I feel like I’m drowning in the mundane minutes
that make up my day. Lately, I feel even more bogged down every second by this
feeling that something in my life needs to change. I feel plagued by the
thought that I am not doing what I should be doing. It’s like there’s something
way over THERE across this great chasm of every-day life and I know I need to
be There, but I can’t seem to find the bridge to cross to get There. Then I
start thinking, maybe I need to build my own bridge? But when I think that, I
feel even more anxious and overwhelmed. Because if I have to stop and build my
own bridge, it’s going to take so much time and I’ll have to quit what I’m
currently doing and I have things I need to get done here too and who knows how
long it could take and how much it will cost to gather the stuff necessary to
build the bridge to get There?! And on and on and on my anxious thoughts go.
But then I see people building bridges to get to their There!
I see people trudging happily across their own bridges to their own life things.
And I start to think, well they are doing it, so I just need to do it! I need
to get There…
Maybe I am just scared. Maybe I am just weak. Maybe I just
don’t want to put in the effort to start the bridge-building process? Maybe I just don’t want to think about what it
might cost me Here to get There? Maybe I am afraid I will fail?
Or maybe I am afraid that I am wrong and that over There is
not my place at all and that I am supposed to just stay Here on this side and
be happy over here, and stop counting the minutes Here as mundane! Or, maybe… maybe
the problem is that I’m trying to carry too many things with me to There. My
load is just too heavy to even think about adding the building materials or the
extra necessities. Maybe I just need to learn to manage Here before I can even begin
the process to get There?
Ouch. That last sentence struck a nerve. The great Bridge Builder isn’t going to give
me bigger things to manage if I can’t even take care of the little things in
front of me well.
So, back to my question: where do I even start? I guess my
answer is, I start Here. Right here where I am. And I do Here the very best
that I can before I even start looking over There.
