Hey Jack, it's more about the HOW than the WHAT!

Every day I am reminded more and more, in this day of instant social media, how important words are. Not only that, but even more importantly is HOW you use those words.  This morning I was sitting here, reading so many different views on the Duck Dynasty debacle and one thing kept coming to my mind: Jesus spoke truth, and he did it in a way that made people stop and think, not bristle in anger. Honestly, some of the stuff he said was highly offensive at the time, but interestingly enough, the people it was most offensive to was the religious leaders of the time! They were deeply offended that Jesus spoke about mercy to sinners, shared food and space with “vile” offenders, and walked and talked freely with evil-doers.  He was a rebel because he drew the outcasts to him. I cannot help but think that it was more HOW he said what he did, the hope he offered, that drew the sinners to him. Though the meat of his message told them they were doing wrong, it also offered a simple way to escape and be free. The religious leaders didn’t like that because what they had preached to the people for years was the law that there were “hoops” to jump through to make yourself worthy, certain works and ways to accomplish holiness, and Jesus was throwing all that to the curb. The religious leaders felt like their self-righteousness was being challenged and they didn’t like that. It reminds me of the picture of a little kid throwing themselves on the ground it a fit and screaming “That’s not fair!”

All that to say this: I agree with some of what Phil said, but not all of how he said it. The WAY we speak God's truths to others can be a stumblingblock to ourselves and our message of hope and to others that desperately need that truth. Phil spoke the truth only when he quoted scripture. His vulgarity in his "anus" and "vagina" comments made the scripture part not stand out to anyone. It overrode it, it tainted it. I'm sure that he, himself, is very sorry about that. His opinion and the way he spoke it was what was vastly offensive to the public. If he had only quoted the Word of God I believe there still would have been an outcry and upset, but it would not have had much of a leg to stand on. His OPINION and the way he delivered it is what has people upset the most. Even though I truly believe he spoke in love and what he says later about not judging anyone and how if we all just love God and love people the rest will follow is truly what he believes…well, the crassness of the other just overshadows all of his heart's meaning in the other statements. Have you read the whole article? You should. I'm surprised Phil allowed this crude magazine to interview him, writing an article with foul language from the reporter throughout the article about he and his family. Ultimately, I feel like allowing the interview from a reporter who is known to write crass articles was the beginning of the family's bad judgment call and then it escalated from there. But, even in that, I reminded that we all make mistakes and err everyday!
When I read what Phil said about why “a would a guy want an anus”, I immediately knew that he had probably never actually sat and talked to a homosexual person or else he would never make such an ignorant statement. Because that’s just what it is: ignorance. I don’t mean that harshly, I’m just saying that he truly doesn’t know. If had invested any time into getting to know a homosexual person he would know that the “sex” part actually has very little to do with the actuall attraction. Satan knows that too. He created the perfect recipe for disaster using various evil tools at his disposal. And he knows that Christians shy away from homosexuality as if it’s the plague and they may catch it, and that the way the deliver the message that it’s a sin is ultimately only more damaging to the cause of Christ. God has allowed Satan to use those tools and I am wondering today if it's because He is hoping for Christians to let go of "laws" and prejudices and seek to truly reach the people under the sin? I wish that Phil would have only stuck to quoting scripture and saying God’s word says it’s a sin. Period. End of discussion. And I’m pretty sure he probably wishes right now that he would have done the same thing.
This whole situation is a reminder to me that most Christians just don’t see that angry hurtful statements are NOT “loving the sinner, but hating the sin”, and neither are they "standing on God's word". They, instead, too often deliver a message of self-righteousness condemnation. What message is the gay community hearing loudest from us? If all they hear is anger, condemnation, crass remarks, and judgment from a self-righteous “my sin is not as bad as yours” group of religious leaders but no message of hope, love, healing, freedom or repentance, what end do we really expect? I was so glad to see how Phil ended the conversation about homosexuality by quoting scripture and saying it was not his place to judge and that we are all a mess. I honestly feel like that’s what he really believes. I think his first comment was just him stating that he does not understand the draw of homosexuality or how people fall into that particular sin, he just didn’t state that in the best way! To him, I feel like it’s honestly the same as any other sin. Which brings me to my next thought…

I said it awhile back amidst the Miley Cyrus uproar from Christians, and I say it in regard to this as well:

I AM a homosexual…Without God’s grace, mercy, and daily forgiveness of my sins I am guilty of ALL and fall right in line with all the others in the Bible verses that Phil mentioned in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11:

"(9) Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, (10) nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. (11) And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."

Back to my beginning statement, of how Jesus drew the sinners, but repelled the religious…Well, too often we quote these verses (or more often than not, throw them!) at unbelievers when in reality these statements are made to the church, to believers. Paul is telling them that Jesus washed them from these things and yet some of them are still living that way. He isn’t talking to unbelievers in this instance and calling them vile offenders. He’s saying, hey, you church-goers, you know better!  And yet, we, as Christians, often quote these behavioral sins to unbelievers and expect that to change their minds? That message is not the one that will convince them of their sinful ways! That truth is spoken by Paul in the previous chapter of 1 Corinthians 5 starting in verse 9 he says: “I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

I love how he basically says, Why would it be my job to judge outsiders? He basically means they aren’t part of our family and so that’s not my job; just like it’s not my job to discipline or judge anybody else’s kids but my own. That would just be weird. We are, however, to judge those within the church family who are guilty of such things. To those outside the church, we are merely to offer the solution, the hope of Jesus.  Paul even says that: “God judges those outside”.

The message I would most like homosexual people, greedy people, drunkards, swindlers, adulterers, thieves, revilers (which ironically is mentioned in the first verse and means to use abusive or scornful language against someone or something…oh my…how often do we do that?!) to hear is the one that changed my life: the message of Jesus as Savior.  If someone had told me, before I knew Jesus, to stop lying because it's wrong, well, that would not have made me care whether I stopped or not. But Jesus DID make me care. He changed me. Jesus.

What if we just started preaching that louder than any other thing?

I love, love, love what Phil said at the very end of the article: If we would all just really love God, and really love people, the rest would take care of itself.

Because, if we followed those “greatest commandments”, as Jesus called them, well, then we would love the homosexual and want to draw them in, offer them the same medicine that saved us from our sinful vile ways, and we would not want to offend them or push them away.

Judgment vs. Mercy

Judgment and mercy don’t seem to go together. This thought has been plaguing me for the last 3 weeks. Judgment has such harsh connotations and seems to contradict the very idea of mercy. Yet, according to God, you can have, and practice, both at the same time.

Micah 6:8 says “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and love mercy, and walk humbly with your God?”

It’s my belief that the end of that verse tell you how to successfully accomplish the first part: if you are walking humbly with God, then you will understand how to “do justice and love mercy”.  I cannot help but think about the fact that those things were accomplished first by God.  Justice required death for the payment of our sins. Mercy was offered by Him sending His very own Son as payment for those sins. Romans 6:23 – “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 

It didn’t take us humans long after God made us before we thought we were above the law. (See Genesis 3) We broke the law of our own free will, ironically because we felt like we were” justified” in our determination to know more than what we felt like God was telling us! We were warned ahead of time that the payment for breaking that law was death and separation from God, and yet, we did it anyway. God rightly could have only meted out justice. It’s all that we deserved. But he showed mercy. God showed mercy by doing whatever it took to reconcile us to him. He humbled himself, became man in Jesus, sacrificed himself to save us, to reconcile us while we were still in our undeserving state.
That’s mercy.
Philippians 2:8 “And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.”
And because he showed us mercy, our hearts were moved to repentance and love.  Justice didn’t move us to repentance. Mercy, in the face of justice, moved us to repentance, because of a humbled act of sacrifice.

See. They all three work together well. But separately, the result would not have been the same. One without the other, well, you can’t see God in that.  Only through all three do you see God’s grace.  And we are called to offer that same thing to others.

Psalm 51:17 "My sacrifice is a humble spirit, O God; you will not reject a humble and repentant heart."

Is it easy? NO.

I don’t think you heard me.

NO!

It’s so hard. But it’s so rewarding.

The peace and joy and contentment that follow are amazing. And, honestly, I feel like it’s in those moments of humbleness and mercy that we truly get a glimpse of what perfect reconciliation with God is like. We feel compete again. And two seconds later, when we make another mistake, that’s ok. Because God is there, offering us His unending mercy, drawing us back to himself.  Calling us to shake off those chains of justice, and put on his freedom. 

And we are to offer that same mercy to EVERYONE around us the same. No matter what they do. Just like WE are a work in progress through God’s mercy, that concept is a work in progress.  God does clearly tell us time and again in His Word how to work on it though!

Colossians 3:12-15

“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.”

When someone hurts you, or wrongs you, and you don’t feel like they deserve your kindness or forgiveness or mercy, well, that’s when they need it most. I like how the verses above say that charity (or love) is the “bond of perfectness”.  When I think of bonding I think of gluing something together, fixing something that’s broken…reconciling.

No matter what’s broken in our lives, through Christ and his example, it can be “bonded” if we are willing to humble ourselves.

Second Chances

Coulson; the giver of second chances!



I’m a Coulson fan. If you don’t know who Agent Phil Coulson is, where have you been?! He’s only the coolest guy on the planet! He’s the human leader of a group who get to manage all the crazy super heroes who come to, or live on, Earth, like Ironman and Thor! Yeah. He hangs out with those peeps. He runs S.H.I.E.L.D. with a soft iron fist and is the helper of all.  Ultimately, he wants the best for Earth, and he sees the good inside each person. Seriously, he’s awesome. You should watch the show.

In this week’s episode, Coulson finds out the person responsible for several attacks is a former agent that he trained, who left the agency under strained circumstances years earlier. Even though they have video surveillance of Aquilla doing the crime the day before, Coulson stakes his career on the fact that something is off and he wants to talk to her first before calling headquarters. All the other agents around Coulson can’t understand why he is extending so much grace to her when all evidence points to her being guilty, especially when he was already betrayed by her in the past. But he won’t give up.

In the process, he discovers that Aquilla was captured years before, and a device was implanted in her EYE that keeps her prisoner by allowing them to see all she sees and if she stops doing what they ask at any moment they will explode the device and kill her instantly. She WAS guilty of heinous crimes, she could have chosen to NOT do those things, but she gave in to fear and allowed herself to be used and controlled by the enemy. At the end of show, Coulson rescues her and saves the day. However, she is left with only one eye and is serving a light prison sentence for her crimes. Her choice cost her greatly. But now, in prison, she is at peace, because she is finally more free than she has been for years, all because Coulson didn’t give up on her. When Coulson is asked by a peer what it was that made him want to give her a second chance in the face of so much incriminating evidence, he replies: “Well, I was given a second chance, and it changed who I am. It only seems right that I offer that same chance to others.”

Well said, Coulson, well said.

Jesus gave me a second chance, and it changed who I am. It’s only right that I offer that same chance to others. Even in the face of impossible odds. Even when they don’t deserve it.  Especially when they haven’t asked for it.

Colossians 3:12-15

“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;  Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.”

Thankful for the Thorns: Pain With a Purpose

For as far back as I can remember my dad has ALWAYS had roses growing in a flower garden in front of his house.  There were deep red ones, luscious coral ones, lovely white ones and even the rare and extremely fragrant "blue" ones (which were really purple!).  Little girls love picking pretty flowers, right? But we learned early on that these were not ones to be plucked off the vine. They had huge pokey thorns sticking out all up and down their stems that hurt BAD when touched.  I learned to just wait.  When the flower was perfectly bloomed and ready, my dad would expertly clip the flower, trim the thorns, and bring the flower inside and put it in a vase for us to enjoy.  The smell of the flower would fill the house.  We always had beautiful flowers on display inside, as long as we waited for dad to clip them in their time and bring them in.
However, I always wondered why such a pretty flower would have such an ugly hurtful thorn as part of it's nature. What was the point? Haven't you wondered? I would enjoy the flower so much more without the pain!
Well, while rose thorns hurt and frustrate gardeners, they do serve a purpose. Their thorns are a natural defense mechanism. They protect the rose. The spiny thorns discourage predetors from eating the sweet-smelling tasty flowers.  They keep the plant alive and intact so that it can continue to grow to reach it's full potential, and eventually allow it to produce other roses as well.  And, wouldn't you know it, the sweetest smelling roses have the worst, most painful, thorns. 
Since the thorns protect the flower and help it reach it's full potential, I bet the rose is thankful for the thorns, even though it can also be painful for those who care for it.  They're blessings in disguise.
Earlier this year, I suffered another "ouch" from a thorn in my life, only it didn't come from a flower, but from a person. Like before, though, it caught me unawares, I didn't see it...until it hurt me.  For awhile I was angry, angry at the situation that had caused my hurt, angry at the person, and, yes, even a little angry at God for allowing it. Many tears and bandages later, I learned an important lesson: like the thorns on the rose, the thorns in my life help ME reach my full potential too. Those hurtful things drive me closer to God, allowing my faith to bloom, giving birth to seeds of hope. 
I made a decision then, a choice, that changed my angry heart into one of peace. I chose to be thankful for the thorns in my life.  Once I stepped back and looked at the situation through the eyes of God, I saw that every time I had experienced a "thorn" in my life, it had produced spiritual growth in my soul.  It pushed me to thrive, to grow more. God allowed the thorns because they were pain with a purpose. I was, and am, thankful for them. I realized, then, that I was free. By making the deliberate choice to be thankful for anything that would push me closer to my Savior, I had taken the power away from the enemy.
Thorns are never fun, they're not very pretty, and they hurt. But they are pain with a purpose. 
What about you? Do you have thorns in your life that are robbing you of your joy, stealing your peace, and hurting you? Trust in the One who created you. He knows where you are. He knows what's best. He knows how to prune you and protect you and push you to reach your full potential, and to produce seeds of hope to others. He knows when you are ready to be plucked away at the perfect time. So be thankful. It's pain with a purpose.
I'm not exagerrating at all when I say that by choosing to be thankful for my thorns, I was freed from their burden. Does it take all the pain away? No. But it makes it infinitely more bearable...and, oddly enough, even joyous! If this thorn is what it takes to grow me closer to blooming more for Christ, I'll keep the thorns. And be thankful for them, and for the One who loves me, and sees the beautiful flower I will become! And when it's time, our Father will expertly clip the rose, trim the hurtful thorns, and bring us into His house.  Because He cares for us...

7 Discipline Tools That Work For Me (and 2 that do NOT)

7 Discipline Tools That Work For Me (and 2 that do NOT)

It's been awhile since I've blogged about being a deliberate parent, but, as the last 48 hours have dramatically proven, it is ALWAYS at the forefront of my day...whether I want it to be or not! Okay, that's really a dumb statement. Who WANTS to be reminded of the challenges of parenthood? Especially the challenges of discipline?
Every few months it seems like one of my children find the need to test the boundaries, rules, and limits of their environment, pushing against authority and asserting their independence. Which makes me feel the need the push back. Hard. In a thousand different ways. Or just give up.
And there lies the complication.
Where do you draw the lines, and when do you draw new lines?
How hard is it for us to recognize signs that our kids need...a re-adjustment? Why is it easier to see this in OTHER people's children than it is in our own?
I mean, come on...we've all seen them: the out-of-control child at chick-fila who's parents aren't even watching them as they climb on TOP of the slide and kick the other kids as they come down; the three year old who drops to the floor in the grocery aisle screaming and crying because they want candy; the seven year who yells "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME" at his parents at the restaurant...and we've privately dissed scoffed at , um, talked about, their parents, reassuring ourselves that we'd never be so oblivious to our child's faults or be that much of a push-over if our child was terrorizing the playground or disrupting everyone's dinner.
But then it happens: the massive meltdown that takes you completely by surprise. And suddenly you are that parent — the one flailing to figure out what to do, wondering who is this little monster that has taken over your child's body, and how do you handle it? The truth is, every child presents discipline challenges at every age, and it's up to us to figure out how to handle them.
That, in itself, is what I believe is one of the biggest challenges of being a parent.  You're child is constantly growing and changing, and so is their attitude and their character.  Our job is to mold them into an adult who makes wise choices.
So why is discipline such a big dilemma? Because it feels like a tightrope act, in which you're constantly trying to find that perfect balance. On one side there's the peril of giving in too much — no one wants to raise a bratty kid, who turns in to a bratty adult who always expects to get their way. On the other side there's the fear of keeping tight control — who wants to be the control-freak raising cowed, sullen kids, who bust out in a fit of rebellion once they're an adult?
What we need is a comfortable middle ground to ensure that our little ones grow up to be respectful, caring, and well behaved.
I've been a mom for seven years and have found that some things work well and some do not...and so, here are seven discipline tools that have worked for me (and two that definitely have NOT!):

Tool #1) Lots of Love - I know love seems like a weird tool when talking about discipline, but I totally believe that in order for any other aspect of your discipline to make a difference, your children must know that you love them, and that you want the very best for them. Never take it for granted that your kids automatically know that you love them. 

Tool #2) Praise the Positive - As humans, we thrive on praise. This element of our emotional get-up is drastically important within the bounds of discipline. You NEVER want your child to learn that the only way to get your attention is when it is by garnashing negative attention. Therefore, you must work extremely hard to notice small things that your child does that are good (putting a toy up, eating all their food, taking their plate in the kitchen without having to be told, saying Thank You, sharing with others, helping their younger siblings with anything, etc.).  Too often, in the busyness of life these days, we are so consumed with going and doing that we miss the good things that our children are doing because they don't disrupt our thoughts.
- Now for the hard ones....
Tool #3) Set Real Rules and Boundaries & Clear Consequences - If you didn't know what the driving laws were, would it make it hard to follow them? What about if they changed on a daily basis; one day it was illegal to make U-turns but the next day it was okay? Would you be confused? So are kids when we don't clearly define rules and boundaries for them.  Clearly teaching them rules and boundaries teaches them to respect them, and to know that there are consequences if they make poor choices.  Children NEED rules and routine.  They thrive on it. 
Tool #4) ALWAYS win - Yes. I mean ALWAYS. When it comes to a show-down between your child and yourself over a breach of the afore mentioned boundaries, YOU must always win.  If you give in, you surrender your authority to your child, and show them that they are in control.  This is a hard one for me. There have been so many times as a parent that I want to just give in and let my child have their way.  And sometimes I have....until that same scenario played out a second time and I realized my error!
Tool #5) NEVER act out in Anger...but if you do, apologize - I would like to say that I have never acted out in anger verbally (yelling) or too quickly in punishment at my children.  But it would be a lie.  Parents are humans too, and if anyone can push our buttons, it's our kids.  My kids do make me lose my temper and then I either yell at them, or make the punishment too severe for the crime.  And then I feel bad.  If you've done this too, don't beat yourself up too bad.  Use it.  This is an opportunity to show them that nobody is perfect, and that is why we must all work our hardest to be nice and respectful to people and show them how we want them to treat us. 
Tool #6) Give Choices to Produce Good Choices - This is one that, in my opinion, applies more aptly to school age children, and should not be used for outright disobedience.  If Caynin, who is almost 7, does something wrong, like pulls his sister's hair, I may give him a choice of discipline.  "Do you want to sit in time-out for 8 minutes, or do you want to lose your game priveledges?"  He obviously wants neither, and will most usually tell me so.  That's when I tell him that London didn't want her hair pulled either, and he knew that, but he still did it...and now there is a consequence.  Making him choose forces him to think about WHY he is having to choose one of these despicable things, and, hopefully, will make him think twice about doing something he clearly knows not to in the future.

Tool #7) Consistency is KEY - Okay. Really. This is one that we've all heard time and again.  But it's so darn true!  NONE of the tools above will be at ALL useful if I'm not consistent or don't follow through.  Consistency builds character.  It does.  It clearly draws the lines, sets the stage, marks the territory, and instills balance in the child's life.  It lets them know that I mean what I say, that they can't talk me out of it, that I am the final authority, not them. I'm not gonna lie...it super duper hard.  Some days, you just plain don't feel like making the effort.  You get tired of always winning.  You don't want to have to tell your toddler for the 20th time not to touch the picture frame, and then have to lash out the consequence for doing so.  You don't like having to come up with new rules as your kids get older and explore more things, and assert independence.  But the way I look at it is...well, it IS easier.  I can fight a battle 3 times and then watch my son get it and never do it again and be super proud of myself and my child when it works OR I can fight that same battle over and over and over and over and over and be slightly embarrassed that I am the parent that all the other parents at playgroup are tsk-tsking about!  I WANT my kids to be good kids, to be fairly decent teenagers (come on, are ANY of them good?), and to be well-respected well-liked adults who make good choices. 
So it's work to be consistent.  But it's SOOOOO worth it!

Okay...the two that do NOT work:
1) NEVER reward bad behavior, or bribe good behavior - You would think this would be a given, but we're all guilty of it. When we're in the grocery store line and our child yells and screams they want candy, we think, just give it to them and it'll shut them up! What could it hurt? But it does hurt.  By doing this we're teaching them that if they're annoying and mean they get what they want.  What does that sound like? Yep. Bully. Let's not disillusion ourselves.  No mother ever wants her child to be a bully.  But, by rewarding bad behavior or bribing good behavior (if you're nice to your sister I'll let you play on my phone), we are giving birth to the bully genes in our child.  Beware.  Seriously, a child should NEVER (and by NEVER, I mean EVER) think throwing themselves on the floor and screaming or yelling and hitting is going to get them what they want.  We are teaching behavior when we give in to this.  Don't fall for it...you'll regret it until it's almost too late!  And by bribing our kids to do good we're not instilling in them the wisdom of making the right choice, but are instead teaching them that we only do good when there's something in it for us.

2) Never IGNORE bad behavior - When we ignore something, we're giving it permission to happen.  In essence we're letting them win a portion of the battle.  Seriously, I've never won doing this.  I've never gained a cotton-pickin' thing by doing this! Except maybe a headache!  Again, WE, as the parent, are responsible for teaching our kids appropriate behavior.  If you wouldn't want your child behaving a certain way with someone else, don't let them do it with you.  My husband actually was the one who drove this point home to me.  You're children should respect you ABOVE all other authority figures.  If they do things they know are wrong and you ignore it, you're giving them permission to not respect you, and therefore not respect anyone else.  Also, when you set rules and boundaries and consequences, none of it will make any difference.  They'll just throw a fit, you'll ignore it, nothing will get done, end of story.  No respect.

That's it. When it's all said and done, our kids love us and want us to love them. They WANT to make us happy, and proud, and thankful for them.
It's tough work being a parent. But I just try to remind myself that I AM the parent. I'm in charge. I WANT my kids to respect me now, when they're young, so that when they are older (teens), they will do so still...even though they'd never admit it. Then, when they're an adult, they'll love me for the loving parent I was!  And maybe, just maybe, want to be a parent just like me.  It's true. That's what I did, when I grew up! I went back, and thanked my parents for being tough parents!
I love you Mom and Dad! Thanks for whipping me into shape (physically, mentally, behaviorly, and emotionally).  I'm thankful for you!

How I'm Learning NOT to be Selfish (I'm VERY selfish!)

NOTE TO SELF...when you ask God to help you be more reflective of Him, to be a true servant, be prepared for a total makeover!  I did that, back in February. And, wow. What a ride.
I should have spent the last eight months catalogging which particular flaw of mine that God was breaking down that month...I feel like He's a picked a different one each month to help me work on!
This month's must be my selfish, self-absorbed attitude. After a series of my own unfortunate events I was brought face to face yet again with that huge God-sized mirror and found myself incredibly lacking.
I'm selfish.
I want to do things for God...as long as I don't have to go too far out of my way to do it. I want to help other people...as long as it doesn't cost me too much of my own time.  I want to be busy at church...as long as I still get to sleep in.  I want to be a good steward...as long as I still get to buy things I want. And the list really honestly could go on and on.
So, what do I do about it? That's what I wondered. I asked Peter how you were supposed to change something that was so deeply ingrained into who you are, especially if you felt like you had been that way forever?
His repsonse was, "What does God say about it in His Word?" (Typical guy, right?! Giving the obvious answer! Just kidding, honey! I love the way you lead me towards God!)
So, what does God's word say? How do you put off selfishness and become more selfless?
Well, there are countless verses that talk about "putting off" the old you and putting on attributes of God (Eph 4:24).
So, I asked God to show me how to do that.  (Please refer to above NOTE TO SELF. ugh.)

What did God answer? Well, as I sat in a new Bible Study class I'm doing on Thursday mornings, just for moms, God spoke to my heart a task, a job, that would take me FAR out of my comfort zone, invade my personal space, and just basically take away any time for "self" that I have. It was a call to show compassion on someone in need. To offer them hospitality, my own things, and time with my family. It took me 24 hours for me to realize this was God's answer to my question about putting off my selfish attitude. How better to counter a selfish attitude than by bringing someone else into the equation that would force me to not make anything about myself? Was I excited about it? No. To be perfectly honest, I am still not. However, I have reconciled myself to the fact that if I truly want to learn NOT to be so self-absorbed, this is what God's asking of me.
Where did I gather strength to take the first step? The places that I've always found strength before...God's promises. He's never let me down.
After all, He knows each step of the way, He knows the good path He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11) and I know that I have to seek Him in order to find it - Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart."
So, no more excuses, no more hesitating, no more killing time...
Here I come Lord, seeking...

Excuses, Excuses!

Yesterday, while I was just sitting, listening to someone talk, my brain and heart were suddenly flooded with thoughts of something I felt God might be calling me to do, something that would take me outside of my comfort zone. So what did I do? I fell to my knees and immediately began to see what God would have me do, calling out to him, Here I am Lord, use me!
Um, no.
Unfortunately I cannot say that.
I wish I could. But instead, the truth is, I immediately began to think of all the reasons and excuses why God would NOT call me to do that. Excuse after excuse flooded my mind, and before long, I had almost talked myself into the notion that it had only been a crazy thought, burgeoning in my mind due to sleepless nights and too much stress. Not a God thought. No way. Twenty-four hours later I am still plagued by this thought that keeps coming, but I just keep running from it, making a my "pros and cons" list in my head, giving myself a thousand excuses of why this could never work.
Of course it couldn't be from God. After all, we all know that God ONLY calls people to do things that are easy and make complete sense to the doer. Right? I mean, come on, look at all the examples of people in the Bible that God called to...oh, wait.
Hm.
God does interrupt our carefully planned lives in order to bring Him glory.
I remembered the person in the Bible that I had been studying the last few weeks whose life was completely interrupted and turned upside down by a calling from God. Jonah.
God called Jonah to go do something that was WAY out of his comfort zone and made absolutely no sense to him. God wanted Jonah to go preach to his enemies, and Jonah decided that made no sense and so he went the other way.  And, eventually, after being swallowed by a fish, vomited out, obeying, preaching, then pouting, then fianlly, he maybe saw the bigger picture of what God was trying to accomplish with his life.
So the bigger question here is - Do I want to be swallowed up by the busyness of my life, until it vomits me out, because that's MY plan. Or, will I quit making excuses and take a moment to put myself aside and ask God what He wants to do with me? 
God sees the bigger picture. The beauty of the ending of Jonah's story in the Bible is seeing how God used it all to shed light on His thoughts, and grace, to a rebellious nation AND a rebellious and stubborn man who was hesitant to cooperate.  He kept after Jonah, continually molding his heart into His likeness...and saved a nation along the way too.
God's plans are bigger than my little day-to-day plans. Jeremiah 29:11 says that God knows the plans He has for us, plans full of hope and a future....but verse 13 says we'll only find those "good plans" if we seek God with all our hearts.
Guess that means no more excuses.  And much more seeking.
God wants to do big things with me, and with you, and sometimes, like Jonah, that may mean stepping WAY out of our comfort zone. But, it also may mean the salvation of someone else. Is it worth it?
Or do I need to be vomited out first?
Eww! I hope not.