How to Get From Here to There

Sometimes, I feel like I’m drowning in the mundane minutes that make up my day. Lately, I feel even more bogged down every second by this feeling that something in my life needs to change. I feel plagued by the thought that I am not doing what I should be doing. It’s like there’s something way over THERE across this great chasm of every-day life and I know I need to be There, but I can’t seem to find the bridge to cross to get There. Then I start thinking, maybe I need to build my own bridge? But when I think that, I feel even more anxious and overwhelmed. Because if I have to stop and build my own bridge, it’s going to take so much time and I’ll have to quit what I’m currently doing and I have things I need to get done here too and who knows how long it could take and how much it will cost to gather the stuff necessary to build the bridge to get There?! And on and on and on my anxious thoughts go.

Where do I even start? It feels impossible.

But then I see people building bridges to get to their There! I see people trudging happily across their own bridges to their own life things. And I start to think, well they are doing it, so I just need to do it! I need to get There…

Maybe I am just scared. Maybe I am just weak. Maybe I just don’t want to put in the effort to start the bridge-building process?  Maybe I just don’t want to think about what it might cost me Here to get There? Maybe I am afraid I will fail?

Or maybe I am afraid that I am wrong and that over There is not my place at all and that I am supposed to just stay Here on this side and be happy over here, and stop counting the minutes Here as mundane! Or, maybe… maybe the problem is that I’m trying to carry too many things with me to There. My load is just too heavy to even think about adding the building materials or the extra necessities. Maybe I just need to learn to manage Here before I can even begin the process to get There?

Ouch. That last sentence struck a nerve.  The great Bridge Builder isn’t going to give me bigger things to manage if I can’t even take care of the little things in front of me well.   

So, back to my question: where do I even start? I guess my answer is, I start Here. Right here where I am. And I do Here the very best that I can before I even start looking over There.  

People Who Show You Their Scars...

I've been wrestling lately with the idea of being willing to openly show my scars to everyone, and overcome by the thought of what if we wore our ugly on the outside?
Over the last several years, I have shared my scars with safe people. And there have been numerous times when God called me to share my scars, my stories, with certain people he brought into my path. There was never a time, not once, when it was an easy thing to do. It is a very hard and vulnerable thing, especially when some of those scars are self-inflicted.
Those scars of self-inflicted choices are the ones that the enemy tells you makes you a failure. You keep them hidden away because you feel like a fraud.
Then there are the scars that come as a result of someone you love. Those are hard to show as well, because they reflect poorly on someone else and you don't want others to look at that person as capable of causing scars.
But here's the real truth...
We ALL have scars. And we are ALL able to cause scars to others.
Some are small and barely noticeable. Some are large and red and jagged and painful to even look at.
A few days ago, I walked into a store behind a woman wearing shorts. One of her legs, around her calf, was profusely scared and mangled and much smaller than the other one. She had a slight limp. I found myself wondering what had happened at the same time I applauded her for her willingness to still wear shorts on a warm day, even though it exposed her pain and disfigurement to the world. I wondered if she thought, This is me, this is who I am, and I will not live in shame.
This weekend at a conference, Sheila Walsh said "Shame tells us we ARE something wrong."
I wondered if this scarred lady decided she was NOT something wrong as she put on her shorts that morning just like everyone else.

I wish I were that free with my hard and painful parts. What if we all were?
My pressing (and scary!) thought lately is that it has to start with someone. And I am someone. (GULP!)
Would I be that brave?
Would I have the courage to bare my scars to the world, knowing that some people will look kindly at me with compassion, but many others will snarl their lip in disgust and turn away, and some people will just ignore it because it makes them uncomfortable.
Being reminded of our weakness and frailty makes us uncomfortable. But it is also comforting to know that we are not alone in our messed up places. We are not the only ones with scars.
But guess what? Our scars do NOT make us weak!
Sometimes I think I am more afraid that if people see my scars, they will think I am weak and stupid and don't love God enough. Or they will think I am lying about my life. Maybe they will wonder what other scars I am still hiding? Maybe you are reading this and wondering what in the world kind of scars I have?
Why do we do that? Well, I think it's because we all keep our scars so well hidden. We especially keep the "bad" ones hidden.
What if...what if people stopped hiding their scars? Then it wouldn't be the strange thing to see people walking into stores with exposed scars. Perfection wouldn't be the norm. It would be normal to see people's battle scars. And we would all have more compassion for each other. We would react differently to someone else's hurt, because we see evidence of past hurts. We would encourage each other more.
We would be FOR each other.
This is hard for me. Because I like to look good. Who doesn't? Having skin cancer last year and having a huge scar on my face has been sort of a wake up call to how vain I am on my outward appearance. But what about how vain we are on our souls?
I think too many people think their soul is prettier than yours.
But we are all a big ol' scarred up mess of flesh.

What if we offered to show our scars first?
It would take courage.
Am I that courageous?
I don't know...

The Beef N' Cheddar That Brought Me Down

I had an appointment this afternoon during my lunch break. I got done a little early and was driving back to work to eat the healthy lunch I brought with me when I drove by an Arby’s and saw a picture of a big, juicy roast beef sandwich with delicious fake cheese oozing out of it. My mouth watered. I wanted one. Immediately, I started justifying all the reasons why it was okay for me to have it…it’s not like I eat them every day; I can always eat a healthy dinner and I’ll eat healthy tomorrow; a little bad every now and then is not too bad…

Before I could even finish all the reasons, I was in the drive-thru line. Now I was stuck in line, so I had committed to this and it would be rude to not follow through!

I bought my sandwich…my big, juicy, scrumptious sandwich.  And curly fries…because, how can you go to Arby’s and NOT get curly fries? I consumed the fries driving back to work and rushed into my office and quickly downed the sandwich because I didn’t want it to get cold!

Really, though, I did it quickly before I could allow myself to feel too bad about it.

I shouldn’t have worried about that, though, because our bad choices always have other consequences that are not so easy to ignore!  An hour later, my bloated and uncomfortable stomach was a constant reminder of what I had done. My too-tight pants might as well have been screaming at me in irritation.

I had eater’s remorse.

It happens to me a lot.

And as I was thinking about that, all of a sudden I was reminded of my Pastor’s sermon Sunday. We’re going through the book the 1^st Peter and this week landed us on chapter 4 verse 1-11.  My Pastor, Adam, basically said that the first 4 verses are talking about God is constantly working to develop our character to be more reflective of Jesus.  He said God is working on us to have our desires to be turned toward him.  Something that stood out big to me was how Adam explained the difference between an impulse and a desire. He said, for example, we were created with a natural impulse to eat in order to stay alive, but we have a DESIRE to eat foods that taste good. The impulse would be to eat, the desire would be to eat cake…or a large meat sandwich that’s dripping with calories.

Anyway, Adam said that verse 3 (For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry) is talking about how when desires run unchecked, and appetites run free, is when our lives get out of control and less reflective of Jesus.

You see, God wants us to CHOOSE to live under his desires, so he gives us the choice.  We have to choose whether or not we’re going to indulge our appetites, give in to our self-pleasing temptations, or limit them. It’s easy to give in.  The enemy WANTS us to give in, so he makes it easy. When we are weak because we haven’t eaten lunch yet and we drive by something alluring, the enemy whispers “This is what you want.”  And we start to consider it, we start to justify it.

Next, you’re sitting in your office with a bloated belly and feelings of self-hatred and disgust and asking “WHY DID I GIVE IN????”

The answer to that was glaringly clear to me today.  I give in to sin, and self-indulgence, and my own desires, because of 3 things:

 1)      I want to more than I don’t want to. 

I know that sounds silly, but it’s true. I’m going to fail more when I’ve set myself up to fail. Whatever I desire the most is what I’m going to lean most towards. Honestly, one is easy, because we can basically just fall naturally into it with our flesh, and the other one, the Godly desires, is hard, it’s takes constant work and effort, because we have to OVERCOME the other one, the fleshly one, in order to feed the spiritual one. Romans chapter 6 perhaps explains this the best: “Don’t let sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your body to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your bodies to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?

Ya’ll, that last part is big right there…it is saying we enslave ourselves, we choose who to obey!  We have to want what God wants for us MORE than what we want.

2)      I put myself in situations where I’ve failed before, and expect a different outcome.

Today, I knowingly took out cash, just in case I needed it, even though it was out of the budget! I thought about stopping for lunch BEFORE I drove by Arby’s. I put myself in the position of weakness.  I did this, because of the first reason…I already wanted it more than I wanted to be good.  Again, the Apostle Paul understand this and explained it so well in Romans 7: “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.

He is saying that he gives in to evil that he knows better than to do and doesn’t really want to do it but he does want to do it and then he does it and feels bad about it…sounds a lot like choices I’ve made in life that are worse than eating a roast beef but also caused aches and pains!

3)      I lie to myself about what makes me happy.

This is a big one. Maybe it should be number one. But it’s a hard one. I thought that big giant sandwich was what I wanted and that it would fulfill my desire, my driving impulse to eat. But it was a lie. It didn’t make me happy. It wasn’t worth it. When I make hard choices, when I deny my desirous appetites, that’s when I really feel happy, and I feel good. Why is it so hard to remember that in the moment? When I’ve spent more time wanting my own way, and I put myself in a situation in which I have failed before, and sin beckons, and that shiny thing looks so good, and I tell myself a hundred reasons why it’s okay…that is why I don’t remember that it doesn’t make me happy. 

So I eat the sandwich, and the fries too (why not, I’ve already messed up?!), and think I’ll be okay. 

But it was a lie.
Because my soul longs for something more than empty calories and meaningless worldly things.
My soul's impulse is for something else, my soul DESIRES for eternal things.
When I was single, I used to read this verse and ponder what it meant:
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalms 37:4
At first, I thought it meant if I was serving God, he would give me what I want. Then, I realized that’s not what it’s saying at all. It’s saying that when you give your soul what it truly longs for, yearning toward the Lord, you will start to desire God’s ways more than your own. So God WILL give you the desires of your heart, because you will submit to him in happiness and joy and delight.
Only then do you see that, by limiting your appetite, you set yourself free!
I enslaved myself to my appetite today. I willingly went where I should not have gone and ate what I should not have eaten (wow…that sounds familiar…ummm, Eve?).

Now that I’ve admitted it, I need to do better.
And that, my friend, is the beginning of the battle!  

In the future, I'm going to try to tell myself this:
If I have to justify reasons why something is okay, it's probably not okay, and I just need to keep driving!
After all...it's not even real cheese!

The Real Beast: A Christian Mom's View on Beauty & the Beast

My daughter, London, and I went to see Beauty and the Beast yesterday.  

It was everything I hoped it would be!

Later, London said, “I just realized that almost all Disney movies have a lesson in them.”

I said, “Oh, yeah? What’s the lesson in this movie?”

London said, “You know, just not to judge people by what you only see on the outside. Sometimes people are different than what they look like, but you don’t know it if you’re scared of them.”

A broad smile spread across my face and I felt immensely proud of my nine year old for picking up on that. I told her that was correct, and that is why Jesus calls us to love everybody, and to always be a friend to people.

Beauty and the Beast is such a powerful story to me in so many ways.

The opening scene is the narrator telling the story that sets the stage and ends with her saying this...

“After all, who could ever learn to love a beast?”

A beast.

What makes someone a beast?

Well, that thought was fresh on my mind when I watched the movie because my church had a youth retreat this weekend and the theme was all about living a resurrected life. The word “resurrected” means “restored to life, revived, regenerated”. They started the weekend by explaining to the kids what sin is, what it means, and what it does. The Pastor told them that the word “sin” is an archery term, and that it means missing the mark, or not hitting the goal. He said that ANYTHING besides Christ-likeness is missing the mark, and is therefore sin. Anything. Not just not what we deem as the really bad things. Anything.

I couldn’t help but think that when we sin, we become a beast. A beast could be described as a  depraved person, or a person who misses the mark.

 

After I watched the movie, a friend asked me if it was family-friendly still with that “stuff” in it. She was, of course, referring to the hint of homsexuality in the movie. She wanted to know if it was safe for children. That thought particularly struck me as I thought about all the other many things in the movie that I might also consider not “family-friendly”, or, more to her point, not “christian-belief-friendly” for children.

This movie (and the cartoon version) is full of things we deem as sinful: sorcery, witchcraft, drinking, a bar scene with immodest women, beastiality, sexual innuendo, and brutal violence.  All of those things miss the mark. Right? They go against what most Christian beliefs stand on. However, I feel like we, as Christians, justify why a lot of those things are okay for us, or children, to watch.  We blur the gray line and lump those things in as not too bad, because, after all, almost every single kids cartoon/show has those things in them, and so we have become accepting of those things. They are not shocking to us and so we consider them acceptable. But this other thing? This new thing they added, well, that’s just too much.
So my opinion is this: if I should not watch, or let my kids watch, a movie that has a sin in it, then that should apply to every sin, right? Why do we get to choose what misses the mark and what doesn't? Either it's a sin, or it's not.

Beauty and the Beast starts off from the very beginning telling the story of someone who missed the mark in his character. The Prince was haughty and proud and not compassionate to the poor and needy. He scoffed at a gift that he felt was beneath his greatness. He was born a Prince, but his choices turned him into a beast. He is then seeking restoration, or resurrection, back to his human state. But he can’t get there on his own…The very next scene after he becomes a beast, is that of Belle, walking through the village, surrounded by people. Belle doesn’t look scary, like the Beast, but the villagers still treat her like one. They call her odd, and strange, and peculiar. They make fun of her and keep their kids away from her. They are scared of her because she doesn’t just follow the rules. They are beastly to her. They even sing that “it’s a pity and a sin, she doesn’t quite fit in, she’s different from the rest of us”.  They say it’s a sin! They say she misses the mark, but the mark they are talking about is their own ideas of what it means to fit in.  Basically, either she has to be like them or else they will not be nice to her, or be a friend to her. In reality, THEY are the ones missing the mark and sinning.

Then there is Gaston and LeFou. Gaston enters the scene as a beast already! He is selfish and rude and conniving. He uses everyone around him to further his own agenda. Including his only real friend, LeFou. LeFou is a follower. He wants to be accepted. He wants to be safe. He sees how everyone listens to Gaston and Gaston is so sure of himself and he wants to be that way. He lives in Gaston’s shadow.

I feel like this movie is a powerful example of how we, as Christians, may sometimes see people that are different from us as “beasts” and we avoid them and shun them.  We ARE the villagers, telling outsiders that they are odd because they don’t measure up to our standards. What we don’t see is that they are like Belle, lonely and wounded and desperately longing for something out there in the great wide somewhere to show them love! They want something more. We all do. We all want to be fully loved and fully known. Our heart longs for something more...and that something more is what only God can give us.  

So now here is this story of several different groups of people who are all unknowingly needing to learn the same lesson: When we treat people the way we want to be treated, it changes us and them!  When we love others, ALL others, as God loved us (even when we were depraved beasts) we see their humanity.  We see that they are a person the same as us, not different or odd, or better or worse. We see they need the same thing we need.

I am all of these groups of people.

At times I am the Beast: ugly and hurtful and spiteful and unforgiving.

At times I am the villagers: self-righteous and judgmental and jealous and condemning.

At times I am Belle: serving and giving, but controlling and strong-minded.

At times I am like LeFou: desperately wanting to fit in, making bad choices to do so.

At times I am like Gaston: selfish and vain, and mean-spirited.

At times, I am all of those things. Every day I miss the mark, every day I sin. Every day I am beastly in one way or another.

The Beast saw himself as a Beast, and wanted to be human again, but was unwilling to accept that it was something he could not do himself. He thought no one would ever love him like that.
Gaston was a beast who did not see himself as one, and thought everyone should love him and worship him.
And poor LeFou...earlier in the movie, he sees that Belle is the only one who stands up to Gaston, and that she is not lured in by his charms. Later, when Gaston is mean to Belle’s father, LeFou questions him and sees that Gaston is mistreating people. He still feels like Gaston is the only one who accepts him, but he hates that Gaston makes him lie and do bad things. We start to see indecision in LeFou.

In the song “The Mob” Gaston is telling the villagers why they need to go kill the beast and LeFou breaks in and sings “There’s a beast running wild, there’s no question. But I fear the wrong monster’s released”...I never noticed that line before yesterday!  He’s starting to see that Gaston and the Villagers have become the real Beasts! Right after that the villagers sing “We don’t like what we don’t understand, in fact it scares us, and this monster is mysterious at least”.  How true is that of people?! We don’t like what we don’t understand. When things are different than us, it scares us. And we attack it.

Often...usually...people who we may see as “beasts” are really just wounded and in need of compassion and kindness and care. They need resurrected. We have to go where they are, to the crumbled down castle, and spend time with them. We have to show them what sacrificial love feels like and looks like. We have to show them that "love covers a multitude of sins" (I Peter 4:8). We have to show them the difference by word and actions.
How we treat them EVEN WHEN THEY ARE STILL A BEAST is what makes the difference.
If we expect them to change BEFORE we can hang around them, well that's conditional love, right? God loved me and was a friend to me even when I was beastly and horrible to him. Jesus sat down and ate with sinners. He went to their house. He did it to be close and personal and show them love.

But too often, we push those “different” people away. We call them odd, weird, sinners, and think we are better than that. We act like they will contaminate us. But we don’t know we are already contaminated. Belle thought the Beast was horrible and mean and cruel. What she had going for her was that she was there because she was willing to put herself last. She was willing to enslave herself to free someone else. Her introduction to the Beast starts with him seeing love in action. 
Belle was scared of him herself at first. But then she spent time with him and at the end she told the villagers: “He’s not really a beast, I was wrong. He’s kind and he’s my friend.” She never would have known that if she had run away. Or if she had left him to the wolves when she tried to escape. She chose to show him compassion.

When Belle spent time with the Beast, showed him kindness and friendship, even though he was keeping her prisoner and had been mean to her father and had given her every reason to scorn him, her actions changed the Beast. It transformed him. And, you know what? It also transformed her! It changed how she looked at people. She saw that he was more than what was on the outside. She saw him as the same as her...a wounded person who longs to be loved and fully known.
He ends up making an unselfish decision and chooses to make her happy even though it costs him. And when she is freed and comes back he asks her why she would do that?
The answer is love.

They are not the only ones who are changed...

When LeFou gets to the castle and sees what is going on, and sees how unfairly the castle’s inhabitants are being treated, he decides he does not want to be with the ones who are attacking. He changes sides.

Everyone in this story (except Gaston because he chose his own way) is changed because they witness firsthand what real love is. They see unselfish, unearned, unconditional love in action. It changes them. It restores them. It resurrects them.

They all miss the mark on their own. But love draws them in. It helps them see their own shortcomings.

Real love changes us.

It’s not OUR job to change people.  It’s our job to love people like Jesus loves us, and let that love change them.

And it will. If we are willing to put ourselves last and be a friend to them.

Who can love a beast? God can. And that love changes and resurrects.

So, this movie...is it family friendly? Is it friendly?  Friendly…

Oh, my, yes!  It is all about how to be a friend!

To everyone.

Especially to people who are different than us, people who are odd, or beastly! They need it most of all. And if we, who have already experienced it, don’t show them, who will?

Don’t misread what I’m saying here. I am not saying that we love them and they just continue in their ways and it is all fine. This story would never have worked if the Beast still remained a Beast and LeFou still stayed on Gaston’s side and the villagers kept trying to attack the castle and Belle went back home to live with her father...I’m saying love came first and then that love changed them, resurrected them, to their best self. If the movie were to continue, I imagine we would continue to see more changes in all of them and those around them. We would see more people affected by unselfish love.

This story is about how we all miss the mark. And that’s why we need friends, because the love of a good friend makes us all better...and there is a Friend who is the best friend of all!

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends (John 15:13)

We are all broken people...beastly people.  Who can learn to love a beast?

The One who offers the best love of all.

My lovely daughter saw that in this movie. I hope that she is always a friend to everyone. She saw the real deeper meaning. Even if the director tried to throw another thing in the story, she still saw the deeper meaning:

That we should be a friend to everyone.

Some of you hear that and are ready to get your pitchforks and rear up like the villagers, in anger and disgust, with your own justifications of why it’s okay to tear some people down, why it’s okay to treat “odd” people like outcasts, why we should not let our children be exposed to those not like us, why it's okay to kill a beast. I will not be able to change your mind. I know this because I used to be just like you.

But you know what changed me...spending time with the “odd and beastly” people and watching them change as others showed them real love. Seeing love in action changed me at the same time it was changing them.

Now, if you personally feel convicted about not seeing this movie, then don't do it. That is a personal thing between you and God. But don't hold everyone else to your convictions and don't storm the proverbial castle with anger and self-righteousness. That doesn't build up love, it just tears down.

For us who are Christians, I ask you to simply heed Jesus' own words:

"If you love those who love you, what beneift it that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, and expect nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful." (Luke 6:32-36)

Love changes us.

Don’t be a beast.

Real love, love in action and word and deed, has the power to transform us all.

Stepping off the Ledge: Courage or Bravery?

 
I have an enemy who wants to destroy me daily. 

He hides behind me whispering doubts in my ear, he hides behind others and taunts me, he tries his best to connive and steal everything from me.  Because he desperately does not want me to courageously step up to fight against him. And he definitely does not want me to be brave.

 I was sharing something with someone today, and they responded with “Wow…that takes a lot of courage on your part.”  I laughed in surprise because I automatically thought, I don’t feel courageous…I feel scared!  But then I took a moment to realize that I lumped being “brave” in the same pot as being “courageous”, and really, they are completely different!  Courage is NOT the same as being brave. Bravery, by its very definition is “a courageous behavior”.  Bravery FOLLOWS courage!  You’re not brave first and then step out in courage!  Courage is the CHOICE to be brave, it is the willingness to confront fear, agony, pain, danger, uncertainty or intimidation because you know that something greater will burst forth. 

Bravery and courage are not the same.  So, if you don’t feel brave, that’s ok!  Take courage, friend! Literally…take courage first! And bravery will follow.

Bravery is the ability to confront things withOUT fear. It is a character trait, a muscle, of sorts, that grows with our confidence, an action born out of our courage. An experienced rock climber, for instance, scales great mountains and rocky terrains with confidence because he has learned the technique, and he knows that his supports will hold and when he jumps to that ledge or crawls out of the valley, he knows exactly how to grab hold. He is brave because he took the first courageous steps to learn how to do it.

 

Courage is where you start.

The first time the rock climber leaned over the ledge or looked up at the impossibly high mountain, when he was learning, it was scary, and it took courage to step out or go up because it was an unknown. Courage is not the absence of fear, or doubt. Courage is being able to do something that scares you, being willing to step into an overwhelmingly difficult situation, to face pain and heartache in SPITE of being scared, because of the reward that lies somewhere in the distance.  Courage says the struggle is worth it.  The pain is worth it.  Courage builds bravery muscles.  Courage helps the rock climber keep trying, even when they fall, courage helps them build their muscles, and get stronger, and courage gives them fuel to keep going.  And one day, they step out on that ledge with bravery, and little to no fear, because they have learned and grown and know now with confidence what they can trust in.

I’m pretty positive that God is trying to grow my bravery muscles!  It’s hard and painful and takes effort. To build a muscle, after all, you have to break it down. And he’s trying to grow yours too!  He says so tons of times in his Word. Joshua 1:9 is a well-known one…

”Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

He didn’t say be brave.  He said be courageous, don’t let fear control you.  And then I love that he says “Don’t be afraid because I am with you!”  He didn’t say “Don’t be afraid because you can do this!”  He said “Don’t be afraid because I can do this!”  Like the rock climber’s supports and safety harness, God is our support and our safety.  He’s there to catch us and we can rest in him.  We can strengthen our bravery muscles by learning to have courage in Him in those scary moments.  OUR safety harness LOVES us deeply and cannot fail!  Courage says,” I know I can’t do this, but I know HE, the ONE holding ME, can.”

Another verse that jumped out at me lately in reference to this is I John 4:18

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has torment.  Whoever fears has not been made perfect in love.”

 Ya’ll, I’m here to tell you firsthand, fear does TORMENT us.  It is the enemy’s favorite tool.  It keeps us from being courageous, it keeps us from resting in our safety harness of God’s perfect love, it keeps us from going anywhere near the edge of ourselves, and it keeps us from growing braver.  It keeps us frozen down in the valley, lost in the dark, looking up at the mountains, but scared to reach out and move. Fear holds us prisoner.

If you’re afraid of that next step today, that ledge that God is calling you to step out on, take heart…for our safety harness surrounds us and he has overcome the whole world! So let’s go together, close to the edge of ourselves and be courageous and build our bravery together! It’s okay if you’re scared. Just hold to safety harness and get out of that valley! Go be courageous!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Duct Tape Can't Fix Stupid Mistakes

Months ago, while decorating for a party, I made a mistake. I decided to use duct tape to hold up some of the decorations on the wall! DUCT tape. I knew it was bad idea. I knew (mostly because, let's just be real, I have done this before! Give me a break, I'm a slow learner!)..anyway, I knew that it would most likely remove the paint from the wall when I took it down! But, at the time, it was a chance I was willing to take to accomplish what I wanted. I was short on time and big on ideas. I wanted what I wanted. I thought, I'll be careful, I'll only put a little, I won't push it down hard, and I'll remove it slowly. I had a plan.

But, you know what? Dumb ideas don't care what our plans are!

When it came time to remove those pieces of duct tape, my mistake was glaringly obvious.  Yes, the paint came off with the tape. I had open, ugly marks on my wall that screamed "SHE MADE A STUPID MISTAKE!"

Now, one of the reasons this was so stupid was because this wall was this color when we moved in, and we do not have any touch up paint!

But, I had another plan.  COVER IT UP! I would peel the paint pieces off the tape and glue them back to the wall! It would cover up the blemish.  At some point we are planning to repaint these walls, so it doesn't have to be a long term fix. Well, if you ever wondered, you can't glue paint chips back onto a wall. It worked for a while, but they kept falling off. One day I think I accidentally vacuumed them up! Or the dogs ate them? Who knows. 

All I knew was that I hated the reminder each day of what I done. The reminder of my choice for a quick fix.

So, new plan. DISGUISE IT and HIDE IT!  On one wall the section missing was rather large and I had already planned to hang home decor there anyway, so I went ahead and strategically hung wall decor so no one would notice my blemish! The other wall, though, the smaller blemish was in a much harder area. It would look funny if I hung something there. It would almost call more attention to the spot. It would just make it weird.

But, then, inspiration struck! What do I use to hide blemishes on my face? Makeup! I suddenly thought, it would be easy to mix colors to dab on that spot and camouflage the blemish! So that's what I did! And it worked! For while...

Tonight, I looked at the missing paint, where my disguise is starting to wear off, and I sighed. I thought, I really just need to set aside the time and do the hard work of sanding it and it's ugly friends down and then repaint the whole room. 

Suddenly, I was struck by this thought: Mistakes in life are a lot like this.

We do something that we know we shouldn't do. We have seen the results before of rash decisions. We know the same actions won't yield different results. But we want what we want, when we want it, so we do it anyway.

Then it comes time to make it back like it was. 
But the damage has already been done and the blemish is already there.
So we panic.  And we get mad at ourselves, because, darn it, we knew better!  And we fret.  And then we try to cover it up and go on like it never happened.  We keep gluing that piece back in place. But those broken pieces just keep falling back off. Because they're broken and cannot be glued back on.  It's a temporary fix.  Our mistake just will not let us pretend it was never done.

So, next plan... we try to disguise it, and hide it.  We focus on our attention on excelling at other things, being the "decor" that will never let anyone see behind to the blemish our good ways are hiding.  And the ones we can't hide, we disguise. We maybe admit a little bit...like, "yeah, there's a spot there, but it's only small and I'm taking care of it, and it's really not that bad..."

But, those spots on our hearts just keep coming back to the surface. And, much like with my wall, we know that the only thing that will truly make that spot right again is to do the hard work.  Put the time and effort into it.  We have to get rid of the rough edges.  We have to completely expose the mistake. If we don't know how to sand and fill and smooth out that mistake, we need to ask for help.  We need to make sure someone experienced will look at the mess on the wall of our heart and be able to tell us exactly what tools we'll need and exactly how to do it.  Sanding down a spot like that is hard work.  We have to make it bigger first in order to smooth it out.   Just when you think you have it all leveled, you may have go back and work at it again. Often, this means getting help from a fresh pair of eyes. You need someone who can look objectively and tell you if your heart is level or not.  You need a friend, or a confidant...or a therapist!

Sometimes sanding it reveals other hidden cracks and holes, and sometimes other weak spots chip off. Just the thought of that makes me want to just leave that blemish there!  It may be a hot mess but I'm terrified of the bigger mess cleaning it up may cause. But I can't ignore it. Pieces will eventually begin to chip off on their own. It will get weaker.  And then the mess will be even harder to clean up.

If you make a mistake, and truly want to make it right, you have to do the hard work get to the root. You have to level it out.  Clean out all the bad stuff.  Once you finally, finally, get it all smooth, it's time to start over...time to paint it again. In this case, with my wall, I will need to paint the entire room. At the very least, you normally have to paint the entire wall, because the paint will fade over time and then that spot will still be noticeable, because it won't blend in. So, regardless, to truly make it better, you have to have a completely new, fresh coat of paint. You have to start from scratch. And you have to be willing to put the time and effort into making it ALL right again.

You have to do all of this to repair one little spot, one little mistake. All because of that thing you wanted.  Isn't that sad?

What's even sadder, is that, really, that wall will never be the same. It will always have that sanded down spot. It will always be a little uneven. There will still be times when the light hits it just right and you will see the ramifications of that long ago choice. 
But those brief moments can serve as reminders of why we should NOT make that same choice again.  If we let it.
Or we can continue to make the same mistake over and over again, and keep trying to cover up all the evidence of our mistakes, until the room in our heart is a scarred and ugly, jagged mess that will take way, way longer to clean up.
So, self, remember...even small mistakes can have big consequences. And it can take a long time to correct it. 
Which means, that quick decision that you know is wrong is really not worth it!
Stay away from quick fixes and things you know will end badly.

Just put down the Duct tape and walk away!  Because you know better!

I'm Not Enough

The moment I woke up this morning, the very moment my eyelids tried to raise, I felt that voice that all Moms know whisper "you aren't enough".  I tried to put my pillow over my head so I couldn't hear it. Ok, so I really just tried to go back to sleep, because I hate mornings! But I also wanted to not hear the voice. And, yet, it persisted. Because that's what it's good at.

I looked over at the clock and realized I had woken up AHEAD of my alarm clock, which is always a depressing thought by itself! But then I had the insane thought that I should go ahead and get up and get a good start on the day, and maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't be rushing to get the kids' lunches packed and grabbing some breakfast for myself as I toss air kisses at the kids and run out the door! That thought was followed by a quick inner "yeah, right!" And then just as quickly by my heavy lids closing back over my eyes!

But then the voice came again. It reminded me that, of course, I wouldn't get up early, and, of course, I would be rushing and giving the kids my leftover time, and, of course, I would be one minute late to work, because, after all, I'm not enough.
I hate that voice.
It's the voice of Mom-guilt. Really it's the voice of the Enemy, but at this moment it comes disguised in the voice of Mom-guilt!
Why do we, as Moms, always, always, always feel like we are not doing enough, not giving enough, not crafty enough, not sporty enough, not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not spending enough time...at even given moment, there is something that we are beating ourselves up about not being "enough" at.
Ya'll, I'm sick of it!
I've had enough of that enough!
All day long (on a Monday, no less!!!) that voice taunted me. It followed me to work. It followed me to lunch where I ate my yummy fried food. It followed me to the new gym membership where I worked off my yummy fried food! It followed me home and whispered that if I were skinny enough and ate good enough I wouldn't have to spend more time away from my family working out...
See! That voice is vicious! 
Well, it's time to get vicious back! It's time, as Moms, that we get proactive and take down that Mom-guilt!
I heard a very smart someone say a while back "If you worry about being a good parent, chances are good you probably are one!"  I'm going to say that quote applies to a lot of areas of womanhood! We worry because we WANT to be enough! We want our family's to succeed, to be great. We want our kids to grow up and go get awesome lives of their own. We want our husbands to WANT to to come home to us, to be proud of us. We want to fit into those darn skinny jeans!! Or least the skinny-ish jeans hiding in our closet!
But, in reality, none of those things are what makes us truly enough. I can multitask with the best of them! After all, isn't that the number one requirement for getting your Mom-Card?! However, even the best multitasker still worries about being enough, they still hear that voice whisper to them.  Don't be looking at their super green grass and thinking the think they are enough! They fight against the voice too!
So how do we stop it? Well, number one, we talk back!
That's right, Mommas!  All those times you've told your kids not to talk back, and now is your chance to have free reign! Don't get too excited though! It's not that kind of talking back!
You can't just tell yourself not to listen. That doesn't work. Or it might work, but only for a little while. When that voice starts talking, it's because it wants you to feel defeated. It wants you to quit. It wants you to struggle. And the struggle is real! (Sorry...had to throw that in there!)
This is spiritual warfare. And we do a disservice to ourselves as Moms when we classify it as anything minor! It's a major battle. And battle means war, and war means fighting, and fighting means using weapons.  Thankfully, you have a Leader who has fully equipped you with what you need.
Honestly, sometimes, I'm pretty weak. And I just don't much feel like fighting. I'd rather lie in bed, with pillow over my head, and give in to the ugly cry instead. But on those days, I have found that if all I can do is whisper the name of Jesus, it is enough.
Jesus is enough.
He's ALWAYS enough. And He gives us the enough to fight that voice.
Say it out loud, Mommas! There is power in His name.
When we let Him be our enough, it gives us the oomph to pull the pillow off our head and keep going. Or, sometimes, as the case may be, to STOP going so much!
My new favorite verse right now is Psalm 143:10...
"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!"
Isn't that an awesome prayer!
I need to remind myself of this every day. Ok, so more like every minute! I need to depend on God to lead me on level ground.  I need to ask Him to help me do HIS will; not mine, and not my kids, and not my husband's (can I get an AMEN!!), not my boss's, or that magazine cover, or my neighbor's stupid "I just had my 3rd baby and I'm skinny again"...wait, I digress! But you get the picture. 
I can run myself ragged, and feel like I'm constantly trudging uphill trying to be enough and trying to measure up to everyone else's enough, and I will never, ever actually feel like I'm enough.
Or, I can let Jesus be my enough, and I can let His good Spirit lead me on level ground!
When I hear that sneaky voice try to sneak up on me, I have to talk back by saying verses like this one. I have to tell that Enemy voice that Jesus is enough. I have to tell myself that, and I have to believe it.
Try it. Next time you hear that voice, just say "Jesus" out loud! Yes, out LOUD! No whispering, Mommas! Say it in your best "I mean business" voice. 
Because today you ARE enough.
And tomorrow, you may have to say it again. But that's ok.
Because Jesus is still enough tomorrow, too!