We Are ALL CRAZY KIDS

I swear to you, my kids go through this phase about every six months where they try to reassert their independence and convince me that they are wise enough to make choices on their own.  They are 6 and 9 years old!  Which means there is no way they are actually capable of doing so!  Ok, maybe a little, but come on, they will ALWAYS need Mom's help, whether they admit it or not!
My son, Caynin (who is 9 going on 16 apparently!) has become very opinionated and independent lately, which means he is constantly getting into trouble!
The other day, after he deliberately chose to disobey by choosing a behavior that I had already repeatedly told him not to do, he got in big-time trouble, and he did NOT like that.  In the process of me disciplining him, he was disrespectful to me, and his Father saw it and the wrath of Dad descended upon him (think thunder and lightening and all things scary!).  I appreciate the fact that my husband has always insisted that both kids treat me, as their Mom and his Wife, with respect!  An hour later Caynin and I ended up in the car together alone and as soon as he buckled his seatbelt he apologized for his earlier behavior.  When I looked into his eyes during that moment of apology I was struck by the sincere sorrow and repentance that I saw there, as opposed to the rebellious anger that was there earlier during the disciplining process.  My immediate thought was a reminder of how this was such a perfect picture of how we are with God.
I began explaining to Caynin about how the Bible says in Proverbs 13:24 "Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him."  I told him that the verse meant that if you don't correct your child's behavior, but you let them be rude and hateful, mean or disobedient, you're acting like you hate them because then that child will grow up to be a hateful, mean, adult that has no friends and that no one likes, and that wouldn't be good.  But the parent who loves their child wants that child to be the very best person they can, a child and adult who gets along with others, who behaves well in school, who has tons of friends, and so they will try to teach them to make better choices, and when they make the wrong choices they will teach them that hurtful things can happen and that it doesn't make them happy in the end.
Caynin and I ended up having a great conversation....and it the middle of it, I realized I was literally preaching to my own heart.  The day before this, I had finally admitted to myself that I had made a wrong choice a few months ago.  The choice wasn't to do something bad, it was actually a job FOR God!  But, the wrongness of it was that it was simply not the job that God wanted ME to be doing at that time.  But I did it anyway.  Because it was what I wanted to do, and I thought it would be fun, and I ran ahead of God and just expected Him to bless me.   Six months later, miserable and stressed and running into problems at every corner, and totally NOT at peace about it at all, I finally accepted that God was disciplining me because He loves me.  He was trying to get me to see that I had chose my own way, and my own way, even for a "good" thing, will never make me happy.
It was tough to take ownership of that and let go.  But I also reminded myself that, if this particular area is not where God wants me, well, it's because He wants to use me somewhere else and that's exciting!  Also, it means He is preparing someone else to do the job that I had taken on! And that's exciting!
God wants us to "grow up" spiritually and learn to make choices to follow His way and to allow Him to work through us.  He wants us to shine His light to the world.  And He will always discipline us so that we will be happy and at peace and serving Him, and serving others.  Ultimately, it just all works better that way.  Sometimes, I act like a crazy kid, just like my own children!  And then it takes some strict discipline and chastisement to help me see the error of my way!  It's not fun in the middle, but later, I'm always so glad that God loves me so much that He wants me to be my very best me!  And then, I too will look at God with that look of sorrow in my eyes, and He will look back at me with love and pride!
Two verses for an ending thought:

"For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." Heb 12:7 ESV

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."  Heb 12:11 ESV