Where in the World are We Going?

In response to the multitude of times that Peter and I have been asked the question "where are you guys moving?"...
We really honestly have no idea what we are doing after this... A full year ago I felt God whisper in my heart "you're going to sell your house." 

I was at one of my cleaning jobs at the time, listening to a sermon podcast about trusting God. Immediately, I burst into tears. Happy tears for joy of feeling God's guidance in my life, and nervous anxious tears for what that guidance might cost. I've always told people that one of the coolest things I've experienced in my walk with God is how personal he is with each of us! He knows I'm a nervous step-taker who likes to pretend that I'm in charge and does not like change! And so, on the rare occasion that I'm walking close enough to him to hear his voice, he always gives me a heads up that  change is a-coming! Peter is more a spontaneous person and he loves change! All God has to do with him is point him in the right direction and he's off and running. The coolest part of those two things is that God uniquely made us and bonded us together to perfectly balance one another.
A few moths ago everything started to fall into place and the same week we both just knew that God was telling us to sell our house NOW. At first we kept trying to figure out what that meant and what house we were moving to...but then we both very clearly felt like God was saying for us to obey first, put our house on the market, and just wait for the next step. So, against all my control-freak ways, we did it! I freely admit that in back of my heart I believed this was maybe an Abraham/Isaac test of faith! Maybe we wouldn't actually sell the house but God would reveal the next step after we put it on the market!!
Well, our house sold in 9 days, we close in 2 weeks, and we are still waiting for that next step! Every day is a new lesson in trusting God!
From the get-go we have felt this whole time like God wanted us to sell the house before he was going to let us know what was next, and he apparently meant it, because every door we've tried to force open has slammed shut!
So, as of today, 5 days before we are officially out of our home, we still don't have a place lined up to be our permanent residence. And, maybe that's exactly the way God wants it! If so, I know his plan and his ways and his timing is so much better than mine could ever be. I may kick and scream and drag my heels against that truth most of the time, but at the end of the day I also know I can rest in it!
We have to store most of our stuff so we prayed about it and decided to just sell some of the bigger pieces so we don't have to worry about moving them or storing them.  We had to look and ask, is keeping this stuff really important? It's just stuff.
Yesterday we finally decided we are staying with Peter's parents for a few weeks. They could use the help... Our house went on the market the weekend that his Dad had surgery and found out he has terminal cancer. Coincidence? I think not.
Peter's parents are actually thinking about selling their house and want to downsize to something smaller on one level that's easier for them to manage. So, while we are there, we can help them get everything ready and help them with cleaning and caring for the yard and even cooking. Living with his parents (as much as we LOVE them!) is not what we would want to do for our first option, but if that's the way God's pushing then we are trying to just go with it. Of course, that's OUR tentative plan and that could all change and we could totally end up living who knows where?!! Again, I clearly feel that God is leading us first up to very edge, to the "brink" (like it says in Joshua 3) before he gives us the next instructions. We sign the final papers on October 3. Maybe we will know more after that? 

I'm learning to live a day at a time and it's been cool seeing things fall into place. However, it is also nerve-wracking and stressful and I think Peter and I have gotten into more arguments in the last month than we have in the last 12 years! And, ironically enough, that in itself has pushed us to dig deeper in our marriage and in our communication with one another.

We truly honestly are just taking it one day at a time, one step at a time. I am constantly reminded of two stories in the Bible: (1) when God told Abram to pack up his family and leave his homeland and go to "a place that He would show him"....God didn't reveal the next step of that plan to Abram until he obeyed and left his home and started off on the journey; and (2) when God told the children of Israel to cross the Jordan river, he told them that he wouldn't reveal the path across until the priests took the first step into the raging water and the soles of their feet were wet...then, when they stepped out in faith, He opened the waters and made a way for safe passage across!

Peter and I just finished leading our small group thru the "Experiencing God" study and it's been amazing to watch all of us in the group experience God working in our lives. I believe He ALWAYS is, we just aren't always listening! My prayer this last year has been for God to help me love Him more today than yesterday, and to love and see others the way He does. It has been a life-changing prayer.  
Anyway, at the end of the day, Peter and I want to be where God wants us to be, and want to be used to further His kingdom, whether that means living here in Clarksville in a nice house with his parents, maybe taking care of them, and serving in our church, or whether that means living in a tiny apartment in St Louis and preaching the Gospel to a group of people who desperately needs to hear it, or whether it means something entirely different that I haven't even considered yet (that's probably it!!)...

It has been a very humbling journey and I'm positive the lessons in humility are not close to being over! We are still very full of ourselves!! Our daily prayer is, "Lord- less of me, more of You."
Don't think I'm not scared or worried or stressed or anxious!! I am all of those things and it changes from minute to minute. But I'm also overflowing with hope, and love, and God's abundant grace!
I am also feeling extremely blessed and honored to be walking this journey with this awesome husband that God has given me! His desire to walk with God, to seek Him, to lead our family and teach our kids about trusting God, astounds me every day!
Minute by minute, trusting God...that's all I can do! Thankfully, it's more than enough! He's never let me down. And He never will!

The Plight of the Procrastinator

I have a love-hate relationship with dashes. You know, these kind “ –“.
The kind that get you from here to there.
6:00 – 7:00
Friday – Sunday
Beginning – End
Start – Finish
Yeah, those kind. Those moments in between beginning a project and finishing it, of actually doing the nitty, gritty, get-your-hands-dirty, time-consuming moments.
And that, my friend, is the plight of the procrastinator. 
It’s not that I don’t want to get started. I do. And sometimes I start, but then I get that overwhelmed feeling that only that ugly little dash brings. How do I accomplish this task? What’s the best way do it? How much time is it going to take? Do I have that much time? Is it worth it? Do I even know what I’m doing. Why is this even on my agenda?
Oh, that dreaded dash. I really hate it sometimes! Don’t get me wrong…I am a consummate list maker and I love to have a plan, and nothing feels better to me than checking things off that list. The list makes me feel like I’ve overcome the dash! I’ve found the way to get from here to there! It gives me the false sense of security and makes me feel that, just for moment, I am in control of my dashes! But sometimes, the list just seems overwhelming and I’m afraid those things aren’t going to get checked off in a timely fashion, so the best plan of action seems to be to just ignore them. Maybe they’ll run away back to the dark corner of undone things where they belong!

My husband is exactly the opposite though. He lives for the dash, the dash of doing! Of getting things done! He is the hero of the here-and-now. It drives me a little bit crazy. Ok, it drives me a lot bit crazy!
No procrastinator wants to be a procrastinator. We want to be the one that people can rely on, the one who gets projects done early, arrives on time, is always prepared, and never lets last minute plans get under our skin. 
But I have accepted that being a "dash-doer" is just not in the DNA of a procrastinator. That's why God places people like my husband in the lives of us lowly last-minuters. We help each other. Procrastinators typically work well under pressure and are usually creative people. I have perfect procrastinating mojo! God uniquely designs us so that we work well together. We "spur one another on to love and good works" just like Hebrews 10:24 says. Sometimes we spur gently, and other times we spur by saying "Get your butt in gear!" My husband is great spur-er. He (occasionally) spurs me on to keep running after that dash!
One day, maybe I’ll conquer it.
I think I’ll start tomorrow…

Ok, just kidding...sort of. But, for now, I would just say that I am tired of having undone dashes.
Procrastination is the thief of dreams. All you Dash-Doers out there (yes, you!), can you take a moment to kindly spur on us Perfect Procrastinators? We need your help! 
We don't NOT do stuff because we just don't want to. We're mostly scared. Scared of failing, scared of not finishing, scared of what finishing means...we need you. Let's walk along side one another, and spur one another on to love and good works! Let's be dream-builders together! Let's do the dash!