I have a love problem...Do you?

I just realized I have a bit of a love problem...

In my quiet time with God yesterday morning (and don't think too highly of me, because making TIME for that quiet time has been a constant struggle since I became a mom...but I'm finally getting a bit of a handle on it!)....ANYWAY, in my quiet time yesterday morning, my focus verse was John 14:21.  As always, I'm so thankful that God's Word is living and personal and always reaching out, for I had read this verse many times over the course of my Christian walk, but this time something grabbed me.  The verse says

"He that has my commandments, and keeps them, he it is that loves me, and he that loves me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest (show) myself to him."

I read this verse over, and over, and over.  I felt, well, heartsick. I felt like Peter must have when Jesus looked at him and asked point-blank - "Do you love me?" 
I asked myself first, Am I keeping God's commandments?  Then I thought, Okay, give yourself a break, that's a little over-ambitious...Am I TRYING to keep His commandments?

This verse, in Jesus' words, clearly states that those that keep his commandments are the ones that love him.  No getting around it, no making excuses. 
IF I truly love God, then I WILL obey Him, not just in following the letter of the law, but following the spirit of the command as well.  If I have an obedience problem, well, then I really have a love problem.
Deeply and honestly looking within myself, I had to admit it, I have a love problem.  

For the most part, I obey God's commands. I do!  But really, honestly, it depends on how much it's going to cost ME!  How trivial and UN-LOVING is that? 
Take my quiet time, my study time, for example...
I have a hard time making time for it, mostly because I don't want to get up earlier and cost myself the extra sleep!  Then when I do, I'm so tempted to rush through it so I can do other things that are pulling at my time.  My quiet time feels more like a duty, a job, than a relationship.  And it aught not to be so!

My husband is coming home early from work today.  When he called a while ago to tell me, I was so excited! So thrilled at the extra time that we would get to spend with each other today...because I love him, and I WANT to spend time with him.  I should get that excited - No! MORE excited about getting to spend time with my Savior!  If not, then I have a love problem. My relationship with God should determine everything that I do.  God is love (1 John 4:16), and my total trust in God's love is crucial to how I follow his commands...which encompasses the last part of our beginning verse -

"He that has my commandments, and keeps them, he it is that loves me, and he that loves me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest (show) myself to him."

Oh, the promises of God! The hope and joy they bring to me! And this is one of them!  Jesus says here that if we love him and follow his commands, then he will love us and show himself to us! 

I want to see him! 

I want to see him at work in every second of my life!  

I want to talk to him and know that he's right there beside me!  

I want that close, personal, loving relationship with the God of the Universe!  But first, I have to love him!  To me there's a difference in loving someone, and being IN LOVE with someone!  I love my friends and family members, but I'm IN LOVE with my husband!  I long to spend time with him, to hold his hand, to see him smile at me...  

I know that I love God.  I really do.  But am I also IN LOVE with Him?

Obedience is the outward expression of my love for God, and the reward for that is that Jesus will manifest himself within my life!  What an honor!
So, I guess that means next time I'm at the grocery store and I feel that tugging voice in my heart that says "Ask that woman if she knows Me" or when I see that lady that lives down the street taking her dog on it's daily walk and I hear "Go invite her to church"...well, that's a command, a command from the one that I love.  And if I truly love Him, then I will obey!  If not, then I need to fix my love problem!

How about you? Do you have a relationship with God?  Do you have a love problem with him?  How do I know, you think?  Well, do you see him working in your life?  Do you see him being manifest, shown, everyday?  If not, then maybe you're like me.  But we can fix it!  Just spend time with Him and obey Him!