I'm Not Enough

The moment I woke up this morning, the very moment my eyelids tried to raise, I felt that voice that all Moms know whisper "you aren't enough".  I tried to put my pillow over my head so I couldn't hear it. Ok, so I really just tried to go back to sleep, because I hate mornings! But I also wanted to not hear the voice. And, yet, it persisted. Because that's what it's good at.

I looked over at the clock and realized I had woken up AHEAD of my alarm clock, which is always a depressing thought by itself! But then I had the insane thought that I should go ahead and get up and get a good start on the day, and maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't be rushing to get the kids' lunches packed and grabbing some breakfast for myself as I toss air kisses at the kids and run out the door! That thought was followed by a quick inner "yeah, right!" And then just as quickly by my heavy lids closing back over my eyes!

But then the voice came again. It reminded me that, of course, I wouldn't get up early, and, of course, I would be rushing and giving the kids my leftover time, and, of course, I would be one minute late to work, because, after all, I'm not enough.
I hate that voice.
It's the voice of Mom-guilt. Really it's the voice of the Enemy, but at this moment it comes disguised in the voice of Mom-guilt!
Why do we, as Moms, always, always, always feel like we are not doing enough, not giving enough, not crafty enough, not sporty enough, not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not spending enough time...at even given moment, there is something that we are beating ourselves up about not being "enough" at.
Ya'll, I'm sick of it!
I've had enough of that enough!
All day long (on a Monday, no less!!!) that voice taunted me. It followed me to work. It followed me to lunch where I ate my yummy fried food. It followed me to the new gym membership where I worked off my yummy fried food! It followed me home and whispered that if I were skinny enough and ate good enough I wouldn't have to spend more time away from my family working out...
See! That voice is vicious! 
Well, it's time to get vicious back! It's time, as Moms, that we get proactive and take down that Mom-guilt!
I heard a very smart someone say a while back "If you worry about being a good parent, chances are good you probably are one!"  I'm going to say that quote applies to a lot of areas of womanhood! We worry because we WANT to be enough! We want our family's to succeed, to be great. We want our kids to grow up and go get awesome lives of their own. We want our husbands to WANT to to come home to us, to be proud of us. We want to fit into those darn skinny jeans!! Or least the skinny-ish jeans hiding in our closet!
But, in reality, none of those things are what makes us truly enough. I can multitask with the best of them! After all, isn't that the number one requirement for getting your Mom-Card?! However, even the best multitasker still worries about being enough, they still hear that voice whisper to them.  Don't be looking at their super green grass and thinking the think they are enough! They fight against the voice too!
So how do we stop it? Well, number one, we talk back!
That's right, Mommas!  All those times you've told your kids not to talk back, and now is your chance to have free reign! Don't get too excited though! It's not that kind of talking back!
You can't just tell yourself not to listen. That doesn't work. Or it might work, but only for a little while. When that voice starts talking, it's because it wants you to feel defeated. It wants you to quit. It wants you to struggle. And the struggle is real! (Sorry...had to throw that in there!)
This is spiritual warfare. And we do a disservice to ourselves as Moms when we classify it as anything minor! It's a major battle. And battle means war, and war means fighting, and fighting means using weapons.  Thankfully, you have a Leader who has fully equipped you with what you need.
Honestly, sometimes, I'm pretty weak. And I just don't much feel like fighting. I'd rather lie in bed, with pillow over my head, and give in to the ugly cry instead. But on those days, I have found that if all I can do is whisper the name of Jesus, it is enough.
Jesus is enough.
He's ALWAYS enough. And He gives us the enough to fight that voice.
Say it out loud, Mommas! There is power in His name.
When we let Him be our enough, it gives us the oomph to pull the pillow off our head and keep going. Or, sometimes, as the case may be, to STOP going so much!
My new favorite verse right now is Psalm 143:10...
"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!"
Isn't that an awesome prayer!
I need to remind myself of this every day. Ok, so more like every minute! I need to depend on God to lead me on level ground.  I need to ask Him to help me do HIS will; not mine, and not my kids, and not my husband's (can I get an AMEN!!), not my boss's, or that magazine cover, or my neighbor's stupid "I just had my 3rd baby and I'm skinny again"...wait, I digress! But you get the picture. 
I can run myself ragged, and feel like I'm constantly trudging uphill trying to be enough and trying to measure up to everyone else's enough, and I will never, ever actually feel like I'm enough.
Or, I can let Jesus be my enough, and I can let His good Spirit lead me on level ground!
When I hear that sneaky voice try to sneak up on me, I have to talk back by saying verses like this one. I have to tell that Enemy voice that Jesus is enough. I have to tell myself that, and I have to believe it.
Try it. Next time you hear that voice, just say "Jesus" out loud! Yes, out LOUD! No whispering, Mommas! Say it in your best "I mean business" voice. 
Because today you ARE enough.
And tomorrow, you may have to say it again. But that's ok.
Because Jesus is still enough tomorrow, too!