Friends

"To have a friend, you have to be a friend."


I'm sure we've all heard this phrase, or been told this, at one time in our lives. 
Even the Bible speaks up about this topic! "A man that has friends must show himself friendly:" (Proverbs 18:24)


I have to admit I never really gave this a lot of thought, other than that it meant I needed to be nice to my friends. But lately, I've been doing some inner heart looks at myself and, like I mentioned on another blog post (http://deliberatelydeon.blogspot.com/2015/10/illusionsmy-hidden-life.html?m=1) I have recently realized that I have friend issues! God brought this verse to my heart last night and immediately this thought sprang to my mind: I want to have deep intimate "BFF" type friends, but I hold people at arm's length becasue I assume they are not going to be that type of friend for me. I have many great friends whom I love, but they are more like close acquaintances that sort of know me well. I still treat them like a friend and love them like a friend. Dont' get me wrong, I'm still nice to them and do things for them. I am "like" a friend to them.  But I realized that I, myself, don't pursue that "BFF" friendship with anyone, and yet I expect others to do that with me. 
The big fear here is that I have to make myself vulnerable and open up.  I have to give without knowing what I'll get back.  I have to be that friend to others even if they are not that kind of friend to me.  After all, the true definition of "friend" is being selfless, putting others first, loving and caring for them ahead of yourself.  That's hard to do because it takes time, and effort, and time, and effort, and love and grace, and time, and effort...
You have be invested.
That's what my heart longs for: a friend who is invested in me for the long haul. A friend who knows my deep inner struggles and problems, and doesn't turn away.
First, I need to figure out how to truly go be that kind of friend to those that God brings my way.


Update...I wrote this before Small Group tonight.  Strangely enough (I mean that sarcastically!), our whole discussion tonight was about our struggle with real friendships and how we need to be vulnerable with people in our lives. 
I get it, God. I get it.
So, here I go.  I'm going to go be a friend to EVERYONE around me. Ok, that's a little intimidating. I'm going to TRY to be a friend to all those around me....